September 23, 2002

Kreess?
Hola, Iroda!
I got IM from Matt Welch today.
Who? What? I don't even have a cell phone. How'd you get an IM anyway, aren't you supposed to be practicing?
I take laptop to court with me.
And, anyway, contacting another blogger's shtick is a direct violation of the Blogger's Code.
He said it was OK, because you had stolen Tony Pierce's shtick in the first place. He said two wrongs cancelled out, at least in this case.
They're all out to get me, you know that, right? All the LA bloggers conspire against me. They spend all their time linking to each other...
Please, Kreess, I don't want to hear about your paranoid fantasies.
But, it's true, Iroda!
Matt told me he caught you eyeballing a Ralph's checker. He said she was a short, chubby Hispanic lady.
First of all, she's not "chubby," she's just not thin. She seems to have a nice, warm personality.
So, what are you doing with this checker?
Are you jealous, Iroda? I mean, you aren't real, so how could you be jealous?
I'm very real.
But, I mean, this conversation never took place, at least never with you.
I don't know how you could give up an internationally famous tennis superstar who earned $400000 lifetime touring for a Ralph's checker.
I'm just making friends, Iroda. It's kinda difficult because I've only got a few seconds. But, so far I've managed to build up a little rapport. The next time I go there, I'm going to make EC [eye contact], then ask her about the Navajo bracelet she wears.
It sounds interesting, ho hum.
Wait, Iroda, hopefully I can quickly steer the bracelet discussion into something about Arizona. What would it be like if you could go to Arizona right now, Iroda? The white clouds, the piercing blue skies, red rock monoliths and spires stretching towards the sky, the desert air enveloping every inch of your body like a warm bath...
Stop, Kreess, I am getting too hot.
Good night, Iroda.
Good night, Kreess.
Do cvidanya.
Da, bye.

Posted to WackyHumor at September 23, 2002 11:30 AM

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