The Los Angeles Times has released several cost-saving measures they'll be undergoing to deal with declining circulation:

* Patt Morrisson will auction past hats off on eBay (wait, it gets better).

* Their "Reader's Rep" will be replaced with an email address that no one reads.

* Selected stories about celebrities will be outsourced to those celebrities' publicists.

* Something about wikis replacing their current blogs or something. Maybe Michael Kinsley has some ideas.

* The City Hall beat will be written by Tony Villar's office.

* All stories about protests will be outsourced to ANSWER.

* All stories about immigration will be outsourced to the Los Angeles Mexican consulate.

There, that ought to do it.

BOY AM I EMBARRASSED UPDATE: I just realized that the date on the LAT's press release announcing the changes was September 6, 1997, not 2007.